Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Patriot Pop Tart Act is Applied

Today an elementary kid made a Confederate flag out of a pop-tart. A classmate held him at bay by quickly making a gun out of another pop-tart. Both kids, however, were expelled based on the Pop-Tart protocol which is outlined in the Patriot Pop Tart Act.

 A bored politician who likes to talk on TV quickly made a statement saying that because Pop-tart crime was on the increase he would create a bill which would require an extensive back ground check before being able to purchase a Pop-tart. Right now, even young children can purchase Pop-tarts without having to show any ID.

The National Pop-Tart Association (NPA) released a statement saying they would be OK with a background check, but just on the less fruity Pop-tarts.

The Gay Lobby, which now runs most media outlets did not release a statement, but a spokesman who is a friend of a friend who once saw a gay person on TV said they likely would not care as long as flags and guns were not made out of gay wedding cakes.